Maybe it’s that I don’t pay much attention to my surroundings, or I was born to live a life full of comedic relief. I don’t know, but what I do know is if something strange is going to happen, most often it will happen to me. Being a clutz doesn’t help my situation at all, if I could trip over the air, I would and have from time to time.
On the plus side, I usually have some funny stories to tell or injuries to show off. As well as my colourful roll with the punches personality that is oozing with charm winks.
Yup, you are all lucky to know me winks heavily.
Mix these jaw-droppingly-cute, quirky personality traits and what do you get. You got it … the lead in a Sitcom or at the least the geeky-hot-mess-of-the-lead in a sitcom’s best friend.
If you have ever had 3 or more of the following things happen to you, you too deserve to be on a Sitcom or at least let me be in your Sitcom.
Like I said I am quite charming.
Here goes .. 10 Reasons You Should Have Your Own Sitcom.
1) Your first day of work includes a crow landing in your hair in front of everyone in the office and you flailing around like a fool. That same day, your pants get caught in your office chair, and you fall head-first into the bosses desk.
2) You open your master bedroom door to find a pigeon chillin’ on your bedside table. You scream, (because you have an inexplicable fear of birds) which then sets the bird into a panicked state, causing it to shit all over your bedroom. There is no valid reason to stay in the house at this point. So, obviously, you close the door to the bedroom get in your car and call your boyfriend to assess the situation.
3) You are walking from work to your car as the sprinklers turn on. It’s a direct hit to the side of the head, causing you to turn and run in the other direction. It just so happens it’s right into another sprinkler which is now aimed directly up your skirt.
4) You find yourself on the top of a speaker at a nightclub dancing and singing into a beer bottle. Just when you think you are looking hotter than hot, your girlfriend asks you to lean down to talk to her. This and alcohol takes all the balance you may have had out of the equation. You now find yourself in a full on body-flail landing on the dance floor below. At this point, a boy in the crowd will shout out “It’s raining babes.”
5) You are driving with your friend who politely asks you to hold her Jack Russell pup. It is hot, and the windows are down ( you may or may not have had a few bevvies at the ballpark ). She takes a corner quickly and (I swear the dog jumped) you let loose of the dog who now seems to be running along side the car and is not in your lap.
I haven’t lived this one down. by the way the dog was fine!
6) You have heard the song Footloose at a wedding and believed you were Kevin Bacon reincarnate. This is when you decide everyone needs to see your amazing dance moves. You separate the crowd and do the knee-slide at the perfect moment. Only to realize you are wearing a dress and dance floors aren’t very slippery leaving most of the skin from your knee on the dance floor.
7) You have been caught by your neighbour masturbating. No more needs to be divulged on this subject. It happened. It was mortifying. The end.
8) You have left the grocery store on a windy day with a six and eight-year-old in tow. Just as your six-year-old decides to bolt across the parking lot, a random flying newspaper lands slam-bang in your face taking all vision away as you ninja-slap at it furiously. Now becoming the main attraction, you ( so you think ) smoothly pull the newspaper off your face and go about your business.
9) You have pretended on more than one occasion to know the words to every song on the radio. Then … Karaoke night happens, and you are signing at the top of your lungs “On a steel horse high-rise.” Only to find out it’s actually “on a steel horse I ride”.
10) You have been caught masturbating by your neighbour! Seriously this happened!
I could go on, no, really I could, but what I want is to hear from you. What have you done that makes you Sitcom worthy? Tell me …please tell me. I need to feel normal.