Just the other day I was standing in line at the local Tim Horton’s (it’s a Canadian thing), approached by a nice looking guy. Still wet behind the ears, but adorable none-the-less. Bumping into me, oh-so subtly, he smiled and said “Sorry (another Canadian thing) but you are beautiful, those eyes.” I of course, blushed and said thank you, because us Canadian’s, we are polite. Patting myself on the back as I stepped up to the cashier, I heard him turn to his friend. “Man, I’d like to Bag that Cougar.” Compliment nulled.
“Bagging a Cougar” It’s a thing, and it may not be what you think. I’ll tell you what it’s not. It’s not catching a large wild cat, hiring a taxidermist and mounting its head on your wall. Although there are similarities. If you haven’t been hiding under a rock for ten years. At the very least you know the term Cougar, am I right?
For those that were rock-bound, I will explain, She is usually between her mid-thirties to mid-forties. Cougar, in the urban dictionary, defined as an attractive woman on the hunt for a younger man.
Having being called a cougar on occasion, I take a little offence, *note, I said “a little offence”. Hell yeah, you can call me attractive, but just because I am a “little” older does not mean that I am a hunter, looking for my next victim. At least not when I am in a relationship, or sober. Look, I’ve had my fair share of younger men hit on me, but not one time did I go out looking for it. Well, one time but can you blame me I was going through a crappy divorce.
FYI … “Bagging a Cougar” is the art of the younger man picking up said woman. Knockin’ some boots, putting the P in the V, doing the dirty, or whatever you want to call it, SEX. I am telling you straight up; it’s becoming an epidemic. Young men everywhere are on the prowl. High fives all around the Frat House due to the “Bagged Coug”.
The tables have turned my lady friend’s; The tables have turned.
Boys, us Cougars or “Puma, Cougar-in-training”, (as I like to describe myself) we have a few things you need to know. A little PSA , I’m begging you.
No, we did not get overly dressed up in our push up bras and sexy clothes to catch us a young whippersnapper. What’s more likely us “Older Ladies” and I use the term loosely, are just happy we are out of the house. Away from our kid’s and Husband’s for a much-needed night out with our girlfriends.
Yes, we have bellies full of wine and may or may not have pockets full of cash ready for a lot of dancing and drinking. But be certain not all of us are out to snatch the baby-from-the-cradle. Disclaimer There will be one in the group that is, so keep on, keepin’ on fella’s.
We do although, (especially after consuming bottles of wine) love the attention and yes please ask us to dance. But remember not all of us are looking for one night-er in your basement suite while your room-mates are doing keg stands.
Please know at the end of the night. When we are shit-canned-drunk and you have said to us on more than one occasion. You can’t believe we are 35, and don’t look a day over 27 (seemingly the magic number) we believe you. We will hang off you and fish for compliment after compliment. Some may even grab your ass, or ask you to grab theirs (knowing full well Pilates has worked for them). But NO not all of us want to go home with you. As I said earlier there will be one, but at this point she is vomiting in the bathroom.
It seems as though the once Cougar-on-the-Prowl, has now become the hunted, to be bagged and held as a trophy. Be kind boys, yes we have a few years on yah and a lot more experience in the bedroom than those 20 some-things. Wink But sometimes all we want is to have a good time with our lady friends, and for you to keep telling us we look waaayyy younger than we really are.