He called me a MILF, I giggled, then went home and Googled it. Just an FYI, Googling MILF will most certainly bring up some ex-rated pictures that you can never unsee. I was a Thirty-four-year-old separated from my husband with two little ones at home. He was 25 and oh my god was he adorable.
Charming, is not a descriptive enough word for this young man who seemed to have the biggest crush on me. He knew what he was doing, playing on my older woman heart-strings; he had me at hello. Of course I was weary, with the increasing popularity of bagging an older lady on the rise, I didn’t want to be a conquest, or did I?
My friends gave me high five’s called me a Cougar and begged for details of the sex. I would oblige. Living vicariously through me seemed easier than leaving their husbands. Not that they were all in loveless relationships like myself.
The sex was incredible and abundant. We were perfect together, both in our sexual prime, a match made in bed. I became smitten with him, and things got serious, we were falling in love. Love can be one of those things that blind you to challenges you may face.
Might as well have called me Helen Keller at this point.
I had no idea there would be any challenges dating a man nine years more junior. In my defence, I had never done this before, did I mention the sex was mind-blowing?
Being the older woman is not all sex and adornment, there come some serious insecurities. As I approached my forties and him his thirties; the gap started to feel more predominant.
Being a forty-year-old woman made the ageing process difficult enough. Now throw in the fact that my boyfriend is nine years younger. It feels like I am ageing nine years faster than him. I am sure it has to do with the fact that my pre-menopausal body had started sweating out my eggs during the night.
He still isn’t as old as I was when we first met. He still hasn’t had as much life experience as I have. I have always had a concern that I took away his 20’s. When we met, I had already experienced my 20’s, gotten most of my partying days out-of-the-way, taken the next step, married and had children. He practically walked into this ready-made family.
I worry that he will want to get the hell out of dodge. Find himself a woman closer to his age, who doesn’t have a roadmap on her stomach or breasts that look like rocks in socks. I love him enough to know that he should have the right to start a family of his own. Have babies if he wants or just simply fall in love and start a family, the traditional way.
The truth is if he had wanted to do that he would have.
In any relationship, you and your partner may not always be on the same page, but with a nine-year age gap, that page can feel like a chapter at times. I am always reminding myself of where I was at his age and that he deserves to go through that stage the same way I did. It isn’t easy, particularly when I see him making the same mistakes I did. It can be difficult not to parent him.
Trust me no man wants you to act like their Mom, personal experience.
At times, I feel too old to be with him. There are moments, as my Ovaries dry up, that I realize he could be with a woman younger than me, have his babies and the life I did. The thing is; he doesn’t want any of that.
He wants me.
It hasn’t been easy being with a younger man, but I wouldn’t trade him in for anything and the sex, still mind-blowing.
<a href=”http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/13813303/?claim=9fpx7bkhdeq”>Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>