I have been fortunate in this life to have made friends that have become like family to me, my “Village”.
I have never been the type of girl to judge another. Quite the opposite, I spend a lot of time trying to make everyone comfortable in any situation. It’s quite taxing, especially in a group full of women. Understatement of the year The thing is, I just want everyone to love each other, Why can’t we all get along?
Takes off rose-coloured-glasses and comes back to reality
I get it, we can’t all get along, but we can try harder, am I right? We can work on understanding one another, and not judging.
She recently wrote a guest post for me, explaining what “The Village” means to her.
So everyone stand up and cheer this is her first time on the internet
Build your village carefully – by Staci MacIntyre
We all talk about “our village”. We want to believe our village is great and strong, but have you ever taken a good look at what your village means to you? For your village to be beneficial and for you to be beneficial to your village in return there are a few things you need to take-into-consideration.
Your real village isn’t just the people you have known forever. In fact, quite the opposite is true. Sometimes the people you consider to be your village, merely based on longevity, may be the most damaging to the very thing you are trying to create.
You TRUE village is the people who build you up. The ones that let you be you, WITHOUT judgement. The ones that understand that every emotion that you have every moment that you have it is a process, not your destination.
Surround yourself with people who stand by you while you work through your shit. That understand the process and how it is a means to and end. In your time frame. In your way, this is the only way you will truly change or understand why things happen to you the way they do.
It’s all too easy to give unsolicited advice. But have you ever really just listened to people not to respond, but to try to understand what they are feeling and where they are RIGHT IN THAT MOMENT? It’s important for everyone to discover their truths for themselves. You need to let go of your judgments and frustrations about what they NEED to see. They will see it. In their own time. And that is the only way they will truly have their a-ha moments. Give your village the space to do that, and surround yourself with people who do the same for you.
The true purpose of a village is for UNCONDITIONAL support. To have the people in your life, let you live your journey as you let them live theirs and know you will be there for each other despite your mistakes (are there ever really mistakes in life or is it all a part of the process necessary to find our own truth??). We need to support each other and make space for each other’s processes. To know that we are all good enough and ok regardless of our path or how long it takes to get there.
If you have found these people in your life, hold them and never let them go. If you haven’t, become that person for someone else and watch your village form. Be the change you want to see in the world. It all starts with the smallest steps.
“If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be we’re all ok,”- Jewel
And we are all ok. Just the way we are and just how we’re doing it. Remember that not only for yourself, but for everyone else in your village. Unconditional support, we want it, crave it, need it. But first, we have to give it.