My human state allows me to feel pain, to make mistakes. It includes my imperfect and beautiful soul to falter.
We each have had grave times, some worse than others. We have ALL had transgressions.
As humans we inherently stumble, it is what makes us HUMAN. There is no need to compete with another human’s sadness or oppression, rather we ought to decide to empathize or understand. Do our best to help our fellow people.
Yet, what I often see is malicious judgement. Condemnation and elitism. A whole slew of, “Well, I would never.” and “Can you believe?”
And maybe you would never…but I am certain you haven’t lived a flawless life, clear of mistakes. Careful, your closet is overflowing and the bones of past errors are waging a war on your perfectly scripted FB wall.
We all make mistakes. We all feel miserable at times. We all hurt — often we hurt each other. Too often.
One thing we have in common is the certainty that is human — to make terrible life altering fucking mistakes. To break at the hip while watching our world crumble around us.
None of us is perfect.
Regardless, if we have made life altering mistakes we should recognize we have every god damn right to come back from it. Without shame. To allow ourselves to grow through errors. To discover wherewith to be better; for ourselves and others. Through lapses in judgment, our path curves our learning teaching us valuable lessons.
To err is human.
Perfection is the picture we place on Facebook, but that tiny smudge I see in the photo, those are our skeletons. My skeletons hide in smudges also. All of our skeletons sit in a dusty closet we dare not open. We mask them when we place judgement on one another. We undermine others out of our own fear, place blame and hurtful rhetoric, possibly since it is too scary to admit personal fault or defect. Or perhaps we have been sentenced harshly before and fear the of reproach is far too great to bear.
Maybe we even believe our skeletons aren’t as dirty or broken as the others we judge, or we are too frightened to pull them from the closet in which we keep our fears, our hurt. Our humanity.
Either way, it is pretty shitty. Especially when we are aware of our liabilities, our faults, and the mistakes we HAVE made.
Somehow, we get judgy, icky and gross when someone performs a blunder in front of us. As if we have some platform to stand on or we ride a whiter taller horse. It’s a fucking unicorn, my friends because it isn’t real. Each of us HUMANS has done some objectionable things in our lifetime. Sadly it seems we forget as we ride our white unicorn of judgment to the finish line. There is no finish line, this isn’t a race.
I am far from perfect.
I have held burning bricks of injustice in my hand and thrown them at the people I love. Anger has swelled deep inside my heart. I have screamed and writhed in hurt and condemned others for their actions.
I have been an asshole. I have performed unjust actions against innocent people.
Not everything I have done is good, and it is not what I have ever claimed. However, not everything I have done is bad. I live as closely as I can to the person inside me who believes I can do better every day. I let her make mistakes, and not without consequence, but with the knowledge, I am as human as every other person on this planet.
Albeit, I too hang past skeletons in my closet. I barely dust them off. However, I revisit them enough to understand my humanity. Moreover, I visit them when there is a twinge of malicious judgement swirling in my brain against a fellow human. I do my best to remember I too have faltered and each of us deserves empathy.
I am so far from perfect, I don’t quite understand the concept of the word.
I have relished in waves of rage and let it rip at my insides, condemning the entire world for the torture I have endured.
I have spent countless hours punishing the one’s who gutted and shredded out portions of my soul. I have cried in dark corners of my home curled up in the fetal position.
I have been tested, broken and reborn. All in one day.
I have been angry I have been hurt, and ashamed of the hurt I have placed on others.
I have judged without concern for another’s feelings and denounced the reasoning behind their decisions. I have done these things as a human. As a mistake maker.
Yet, I am someone who is discovering every day how to be better. I believe we all are.
Perhaps we all need to dust of the skeletons in our closets a little more often, rather than denouncing others. Conceivably we need to accept each other as the mistake making humans we are and learn more about an individual before judging their actions.
This includes all humans, not only the ones we agree with but also the ones in which we do not see eye to eye. We have an opportunity to learn from one another, especially the ones in which we do not understand. If we open our minds and identify our personal mistakes and blunders it may be easier for us to discern the reasoning of others.
And maybe, just maybe, we will be able to see over some of the anger we hold against one another.
Meanwhile, I will be over here apologetically making more mistakes and trying to learn from them.