A blackened heart controls me.
it destroys me, ravishes me.
Grotesque thoughts and dried up tears.
There isn’t animosity here.
This is hatred.
Rage fills my half-full cup.
Horror is the liquid I pour from my veins.
I feel nothing…but pain.
Blood isn’t a stain; it is the rot in my heart.
Love doesn’t exist here anymore; it is evaporated.
Love’s ammunition, I replaced it with ferocity.
Displaced with injury, fury.
Slamming my face into the floor, you broke me.
A heart is spoiled.
You said you wanted to know about love?
I can’t place this,
Beg me to succumb.
Or what you called love.
Fists that broke my skin.
Smash my face…rip my heart from its iron pen.
Bestow on me your insecurities, with your paw.
Your rage, I saw.
It ate me.
Berated me, left me raw.
Afraid of men.
All from the cage, I penned.
You screamed be better.
The words of a feather.
Teach me; I am smarter than this.
Deceive me, and name me your enemy.
Escape your hurt, by wrecking me.
Bitch, Slut, Whore.
Names cut like wire through buttered skin.
You broke me down, assuming getting up was a sin.
Outcries of unworthiness replaced my desire.
Throw me away.
No one will stay.
Broken and seething.
Bitter and hurt.
Show me you love me, I wept.
Your pain, it still crept.
Blunt fists raged, against my cheek.
And I am the one who is the freak?
Blame…then shame…ate at my insides.
Rage, anger, it is my fuel.
Warrior, you say…I’m not a fool.
Survive I must, to fucking leave.
Dragging my broken body in reprieve.
Don’t tell me I need to write out my pain.
You weren’t here when the sting rang.
No hot blood fell from your face.
It was not your memory erased.
Hate is my fuel; rage is my war.
Survive I must.