I tried to Squee, I truly did. I wrote it, thought about it, stood back looked at it. Went pee, came back looked at it again, shook my head, did some dishes, came back looked at it again, then deleted it. I. Can’t. Squee.
First and foremost I am not one of those girls that understand the strange emotion that happens among other women. You know the one that has them squeal a deafening ear-piercing sound upon seeing a good friend. So for me, Squee didn’t seem to fit into my repertoire. I bear no judgment on squee, I promise, it just isn’t me. I kind of act like a guy when I am excited to see someone. I give a quick head nod, and a hey what’s up. Probably why my girlfriends find me strange.
My point is I didn’t even know what sqeeing was when I first entered the blogosphere. I am remarkably dumb when it comes to blogging terms. I started blogging almost two years ago now. I know amazing right, I didn’t have a … Blogiversary? What the actual fuck is a Blogiversary? Why can’t we just call it a Blog Anniversary. You know as the normal people would. I was bloggled (I made that one up, boggled and blog, you’re welcome.)
As I started to become more and more involved in the world of blogging (The Blogosphere), I began to read many terms that made absolutely no fucking sense to me.
Just an FYI, I love Google, it has saved me from looking terribly stupid a Blogillion (I might be taking this too far) times.
Let’s knuckle down and get right into them.
1. Frist. This one seemed to pop up in almost every comment section I read. Everyone but I appeared to know what it meant. Off to Google, A-GAIN. Frist isn’t something easily googled, by the way. Google was trying to outsmart me, as it usually does. Each time I plugged in the word Frist, Google came back like a smart ass teenager. Did you mean … First? After about fifteen minutes, and me yelling at a computer screen “No, I did not mean first, GOOGLE!” It hit me as if the clouds opened up and showed me the sun in the sky. Ah, Frist IS first. Misspelled because the blogger so excited to be the first comment, ergo frist. Holy shit, I get it! I’m pretty quick on the uptake, I know.
2. Blogosphere. Okay, guys, this is clearly about the world of blogging. I get it. But just imagine little old me walking into this “blogosphere” with no flipping clue what the hell is going on. Then welcomed by a few (one) fellow blogger(s) and out of their mouth’s comes, welcome to the Blogosphere. Eyes squinch, and all I can think is, I don’t have to say that to fit in do I? I did, I did have to say it, type it and believe it. I have become a part of the Blogosphere. There, I said it.
3. KittyBlogger. This one is too funny not to address. I am sure you get the gist of it. Kitty. Blogger. The blogosphere has a name for people who blog about their cats; it’s true. To be fair, I believe we are all lucky this wasn’t coined PussyBlogger, although I think PussyBlogger could help with views, just sayin’.
4. Troll. I had no clue what the hell this meant. Other than that hairy little man who sits under a bridge waiting for his next victim to pass, this word had never been a part of my vocabulary. That is until I entered the blogosphere (I told you, you will use this word a lot.) Back to google I went, I undoubtedly did not want to be called a Troll if I could help it. And there it was, the meaning of troll. Guys, trolling is BAD, don’t do it. Trolling or being a troll pretty much means you are an asshole, and you say shitty things to people who write their hearts out. Phew, glad I got that one worked out.
5. Blaudience. REALLY?!?! Couldn’t we just call this audience? I feel we may be taking this too far.
6. Blargon, yup you got it. The blogosphere even made a word up for its words. Blog Jargon, now becomes blargon. I have come to the conclusion that if we put a B in front and combine a couple of words we are now using blargon.
So there it is guys some blargon I had no idea existed before I entered the wonderful world of blogging. Oops, I mean before I entered the blogosphere.
Yours truly, Blarla (a blogger named Darla)