I am a writer.
It has taken me a long time to become comfortable enough to write those words. But the truth is, I write. I write because I have to. There is an immeasurable force that pulls me to the keyboard. I am drawn to it; writing is my soul mate. I get lost in moments, words swirl through my head, ideas dance around that I desperately need to put to paper. So I do. Sometimes my heart may bleed and other times I think I am the funniest person on the planet, (I honestly do believe I am fucking hilarious). I may not have the same talent that some do, I don’t presume to. I write for me. I pen in my voice, the only one I have ever known. I don’t expect to be Shakespeare, Poe or Lewis. I expect to be Darla.
I have so much to say, words I can only articulate through these clicking keys. Yet, at times, I stare blankly at the screen wondering if I am worthy of the messages I place here, somewhat mirroring my life. My insecurities filter through the keyboard just as they do my eyes. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. You see, I believe one of the hardest tasks as an artist is to stay true to yourself. Molding and shaping your art the only way you know how. I am here to write my stories in my way. I can only hope the reader feels a connection to me through my taps at the keyboard. Dissected, it seems beautiful that each tap or click on these black keys can affect the person reading my words.
Sometimes I think the best writers get lost in the mud of blogging. There is a hierarchy of sorts, and honestly; it pisses me off. There is a shit ton of talent out there, and it’s getting lost in the infinite world of the big blogs. Now, don’t get me wrong, I know as well as any other writer, being featured on a more prominent site helps you to get read. I have been there. I also know that speaking out against bigger sites, may not help my cause, but I guess I don’t care. I am not writing to change my content to a list for an easier read. Nor do I want to be notified that I am too off the wall for publishing. Hey, maybe I am not good enough, either way, I am not here for an easy read, I am here to write my stories. Sometimes that might include writing something funny, other times it may be writing difficult words to read. But all the time, I want it to be from my voice, my heart.
I have been lucky when it comes to blogging; I have made some amazing friends. Lifelong, real, call in the middle of the night, friends. I have read words that have had me weeping in the fetal position on the bathroom floor and others that had me crying tears of laughter. Each of these talented artists has in one way, or another given me a gift. The gift of their expressive, heartfelt words. Words I don’t take lightly, words I know may have been difficult to write. Words that sometimes get lost because they weren’t published on a big site. Important words and voices that I wish all the world could see.
Big Blog Sites, we all know the ones, are reminiscent of big box stores. They move into your hometown and kill the Mom and Pop businesses we all once knew and loved. And honestly why not, we all want to one stop shop, find everything we need in one place. I’m not sure it’s laziness per say; I think it is the dawn of the times. We’re stretched too thin, trying to make it in this fast-paced world. Simply attempting to keep up. But in saying that, we are missing some incredible experiences. And in this case, some amazing writers, easily passed over because they are being lost in a sea of popularity. Succumbed to notoriety and not the quality of the writer’s vehement words.
When I started blogging (not very long ago), I wanted to share all the beautiful words I read. I couldn’t believe a lot of bloggers didn’t share other’s wondrous works of art. But I didn’t care what the norm was. If I read something that resonated with me; I shared it. I had to, needed to. I still do, because I believe that real beauty in art should be celebrated, reveled in, shared. The truth is I was in awe of these beautiful word slingers, and if there were anything I could do, it would be at the very least to have my one follower on Facebook read it. I shared it, not because it was popular or from a big site, I shared it because it stirred some emotion in me.
Shouldn’t we all realize how important each of our voices are? Stronger together, no?
I don’t need to sit at the popular table at lunch; I have learned in my years of experience, that table is superficial and somewhat unwelcoming. I do want people to read my stories, but it isn’t the main reason I write them. I write to cleanse my soul, to free my mind and hope that I connect with someone, anyone. I believe we as bloggers have the ability to do this for each other, write what we want for ourselves and share our stories in hopes of becoming the village we all desperately want/need to be a part of.
So please remember the little guy, the writer that you may not see as popular, but equally as important. We all started somewhere, and we all have a voice that deserves being heard. It doesn’t necessarily have to come from one of the most popular sites to become one of the most incredible things you have ever read.