Women often get a bad rap, and truthfully we bring a lot of it on ourselves. There is simply too much talk going on behind closed doors, turned backs. I’m not sure if it’s done with malice, to obtain popularity, or merely to have something to say. But, we have all been guilty of the ‘Did you hear?’ moment. Whispering something to another, which isn’t any of our damn business, or is given to us in confidence.
The glorious rumour.
The problem with this – we are hurting other women – and for no reason but to let secrets fall upon welcoming ears. Ears that may not have the same vested interest in the subject as we do.
I’m not sharing groundbreaking information; we as women, know how terrible we can be to each other. But we have the choice to be better women for our daughters. Thus proving to our little ladies, there is a better way to treat one another. To be soul-sisters, giving up our insecurities with no repercussions.
We as women have the chance to support and raise each other up, and not get behind backs, hissing truths given to us in faith. We also have an opportunity to showcase other women for their strengths and to teach our daughters to do so as well.
I aspire to teach my teenage daughter of a sisterhood, instead of letting her live a real-life Mean Girls. Teaching her to celebrate each other’s achievements, instead of tearing and ripping each other down.
Don’t get me wrong, we aren’t made to all simply get along, it’s not in the stars, but we do have the ability to see mistakes and indiscretions as just that, lapses in judgement. Moments in someone’s life that do not deserve our examination, for who are we to judge, each with a skeleton or two hanging in a dusty closet.
I’m not perfect by any means; I have also been wrangled into tasteless, bitter words with little regard for the person in which I am speaking. Not one time making me feel like a better person for doing so.
Not one damn time!
I want to teach my daughter she can be a soul-sister to her girlfriends, to respect each woman she meets as if there is a little part of her inside them and them inside her. We aren’t much different; essentially we are all looking for the same result, happiness and love.
To be supportive and uplifting is an ability women have; it’s in our maternal nature. By supporting and not competing with one another, we have nothing to gain but friendship and a team to strengthen us. We should hope our daughters learn this to be true, and not what I have seen to be cold backstabbing behaviour.
Ladies, we are doing it wrong, we aren’t meant to spit ugly ruthless words about one another, it is getting us nowhere and is teaching our daughters to mistrust other women.
I too have done it wrong; jealousy prohibits common sense far too often, I have held the green-eyed monster’s hand and been lead directly into the dark pit of envy. Getting me nowhere but a dismal and bitter place. So what if you believe ‘that woman’ has better skin or bigger boobs, is she not worth the skin she resides? Might it be possible she doesn’t believe she is worth a moment of your time?
I can bet you; you know nothing of her story or the work she has done to get to where she stands today. And let’s get something straight right now, if her story is one of ease and simplicity, shouldn’t we respect that also? Whether the road travelled was a tumultuous one, or one with a silver spoon, not one of us reserves the right to speak of what we know nothing. Isn’t that what we should emulate, at least for our daughters sake.
We have all made mistakes, some worse than others, I have had hurt placed upon me, and at times have been the one doing the hurting. I have learned through careful examination of myself, that I am worth more than my indiscretions, that we all are. Placing darkness and hurtful words upon another soul will get you nowhere but bitter and resentful, isn’t it time we teach our daughters we are all human beings, we are all worth the time we have on this planet. That each woman we know or pass by on the street is fighting the same battle we are.
I will teach my daughter to accept women for all in which they are, to not let vile and sharp words dangle from her lips but to find solace in herself. And in doing so to show strength, encouragement and need that all women will succeed, her included.
I hope to give her the fortitude to understand what she has to gain by being a soul-sister, and not being contemptuous or hurtful. To stand proudly within herself and compel others to do so, creating a sisterhood worthy of adoration and acceptance. To be a soul-sister, to each and every woman she meets.