Written by: Charmin’ Carmen
“We need to talk”
All of these make my head explode. Blood and brains everywhere. And you know what? He means absolutely nothing by them. (But don’t tell him I said that).
I will admit, texting is never conversations to over think, analyze, critique, or evaluate tone. But I do it every.single.time. Is he upset? OMG is he mad at ME? What does he mean by that comment? What a dick! All things I have said from an innocent text.
It’s no secret: Men and women think differently all the time, and yet we are constantly in battle with each other over an insatiable need to be understood. I could preach until I was blue in the face that we need to accept our differences, respect each other’s feelings, and validate without understanding, but you know what? I’d only suffocate myself because even I don’t listen to me.
We really don’t need to understand each other. Truly. Because the effort it takes to even partly understand a man has left me exhausted on more than a million occasions. And I am no different from any female I know. He means what he says, plainly and simply. It’s that easy.
I’m no expert (clearly) but after much research and even more moments of foot-in-mouth-disease, I’ve realized that the texting difference between men and women can be summarized in these few short points:
The one-word answer. It’s a rule, men are creatures of few words, and when a “K”, or a “Yep” is sent via text, it means exactly that. Don’t spontaneously combust when you receive this text, if he had any other meaning behind it he probably wouldn’t even bother with a reply at all. You have my permission to combust if that happens.
The “We need to talk” text. I have learned this one from way too many overreactions. Guess what? He wants to tell you something important that almost NEVER is about your relationship. One time he just wanted to tell me that the teenager forgot to fold his laundry and it was all wrinkled. True story.
The “I’ve got plans tonight” message without any context. He has plans. That’s it. And he’s probably too busy (or driving) and can’t explain what they are but will later. I’ve sat there completely perplexed by a text like this and wondered if he’s so super pissed (for what, no idea) and he doesn’t want to be around me. I am clearly insane.
The foreboding ???? text. My favorite text, because one exclamation point wasn’t enough. He is actually perplexed by whatever you texted him first. He isn’t mad, he isn’t about to dump you, and he really isn’t over thinking anything. He genuinely wants you to explain yourself better. Crazy.
The long-worded text with feelings. He’s clearly a woman pretending to be your boyfriend. Abort. ABORT.
I’m going to walk right into another texting misunderstanding again, probably soon, but I’m working on being less dramatic about my over thinking. As a female I reserve the right to be clinically insane in regards to matter of the heart. No excuses, no apologies, and absolutely no regrets, because in the end I am truly just protecting myself from hurt. Even if it makes me a little crazy in the eyes of my boyfriend.
He loves me. I know he does. Because his “Ditto” text reply told me so.