Gossip, I have written about it before, maybe it’s because I have been at the end of a whispered word far too often in my life. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve learned how awful it is. How embarrassing it is to be the focus of murmured words.
Look, I am not sitting here atop my unicorn pretending I have never shared some juicy scandal. I am sitting here explaining to you I have learned the error in my ways. That at no time did I gain any satisfaction by whispering “OMG did you hear?”
Gossip, in my opinion, is a ploy in the popularity game. A tactical move to gain control of a group. If said word whisperers can gain the attention of their peers by spreading painful truths, or lies, they become not only the go to for information but also feared by those around them.
“What if she/he tells everyone my secret, I had better stay close enough to keep an eye out.”
While gaining control, the gossiper can now manipulate a group into believing whatever it is they say. Change the entire dynamic of their group of peers. ‘Become popular.’
There is no such time gossip comes up organically, this my friends is a façade the gossiper wants you to believe when confronted with spreading your information. YOUR story. The story you have the right to either keep a secret or tell on your own accord.
” I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything, it was just we were talking about dogs and how they are so unruly and BAM your divorce came up.”
Nope, no it didn’t just come up! Personally, I think maybe gossiper-one got drunk with a group of friends and the words that parted from her lips felt good. The conversation quieted after gossiper-two had just dropped a bomb about Sally and her antics at the last get together. Gossiper-one can’t lose momentum, craving her words to be heard and BAM, The ever so easy to say, “Did you hear?”
“Well, everyone else was talking about it, and I felt I should be able to voice my opinion on the subject.”
MY LIFE IS NOT A SUBJECT! It’s a pitiful attempt at being happy.
Without any hesitation or understanding that those words could very well be destroying someone’s life. (I am not saying this for dramatic effect; gossip can completely destroy someone’s life.) Our gossiping friend goes on to tell a story that doesn’t belong to them. But at what cost, and for WHAT? A moment in the spotlight?
We all have our opinions right? We also have the right to voice them, (YAY FREEDOM). Let’s be clear, just because someone fucked up, or is having a hard time at home, doesn’t give anyone the right to talk about it, unless maybe it’s dire, I’m talking intervention shit. Then you go girl.
I get it; its human nature to slow down as we drive past a car accident. Maybe it’s our morbid curiosity or that we all need to feel a bit better about the skeletons we hide in our closets. But I’m going to lay a truth bomb here, it seems we only gossip about the train wreck. It’s not often you hear word whisperers spitting tales of triumphs.
“Can you believe how well Jessica is doing at her new job? She is rocking that new position; she has all the dollar bills y’all.”
The truth is, the gossiper may never spill these beans. It doesn’t make them feel better about their life. It should, but unfortunately, that’s not the case, not often enough.
” Did you hear? Jessica got her new promotion because she slept with Ralph in accounting.”
Whether fictional Jessica fucked fictional Ralph should be none of our business. Although somehow her promotional pill seems easier to swallow if she messed up on the way to the top. Human nature kicks in, and our gossiper slows down to see the blood spilled on the street.
But come on guys, at what point are we just going to stop?
Remember the telephone game we played in elementary school. We all sat in a circle; the teacher gave us something to say like ‘Ghostly gum tastes gooey’, and we muttered it to the kid sitting next to us. Finally little Darla had to blurt out, “Greg has gum in his bum.” First off, poor Greg did not have gum in his bum. And little Tina, may have purposefully twisted those words in her favor, she wasn’t too happy he pushed her off the swing the other day.
See what I am getting at?
Not only do we perpetuate the gossiper by listening to their juicy tales, but we also may not be getting the whole truth. To be fair, whether it’s true or not, it’s none of our business. Just because I live in a glass house, does not mean anyone knows the road I took to get here. Maybe I wanted to live in this glass house; the view is incredible.
In the profound words of John Lennon, live and let live.
Maybe if we all spend a little more time gossiping about the good in this world we can make it a better place to be in. I’m going to try that, worry less about the lives around me and dig deep into my own, maybe my attempts at happiness will be less pitiful.
Besides, maybe Jessica really needed to get laid. Not my business.
Remember we are Humans, we all mess up, we are all trying to do our best. No one needs their mistakes aired, not even you.