I lay in my bed tonight, watching the rain decorate my window. Picasso must be breathing through these raindrops. A shimmer of coral bleeding into cerulean, design a crystalline work of art.
There is an ache in my chest. A pit in my stomach. Vile acid is ascending from the depths of my abdomen; a lump forms in my throat.
My bedroom walls appear to be closing in on me.
A swell of tears rushes like the tides; I absorb them back into the sea of my strength.
I remind myself to breathe.
Short, short, long. Short, short…breathe dammit…long.
Gulping for breath, one more unrestricted puff, in through my nose, out my mouth.
The tears still come.
The misery of longing for you is devastating tonight. I hate myself for permitting the sadness to destroy me.
I crave your arms.
I long for your embrace and the fever of your essence against mine. I dream of you, the other half of my heart. You are the whisper in the cold December wind nipping at my face — the blush of my cheeks.
You are the warmth of my feather bed, and the cold spot under my pillow. You are everywhere I am. Consuming my thoughts — from the moment I wake to the last flutter of my lids. You breathe through the inspiration of my slumber.
You feel like home.
I create whimsical scenarios, imaginations so vivid, I lose myself in them. In those moments, you taste like an eternity.
I imagine a log cabin, settled before an evergreen backdrop. I can hear the rush of a river flowing, as we lay in each other’s arms. The crack of a fire warms your already comforting eyes. We are home.
Meet me there, baby. In my imagination, lead me to where you want to go.
Take me home.
I look back to my window, my tears faded. I trace the lines of your face in the droplets of rain magically painting a stunning mosaic on my window. Longingly I gaze through the imagery of decorated glass, peering into the darkness, trying to find you. Flecks of light sieve through the street light outside my window, drawing me back from my wistful daydream.
I pull the feather blanket over my body and reach for the cold spot under my pillow. Close my eyes, and see you.
Take me to forever.