I am not your average Mom but who is? We all do things the way we need to to get through the day. Some days all I need is my 5am run. Other days I need the morning run and a large
glass bottle of wine. I do what I need in order to cope as we all should, without any judgement from one another.
I love my kids more than anything but this parenting thing isn’t easy. Most days I am a patient person but there have been days I scream at my kids. Yes, I scream at my kids sometimes so loudly I feel only the dogs can hear my high pitched squeals.
Being a Mom is hard.
So they give us ONE day a year, Mother’s Day. And let’s be completely honest it doesn’t always go as well as it should or how we may have pictured it. Not only that, my kids haven’t quite learned to appreciate me yet. At least that’s how it feels, as they hold their teenage hands out for money, expect a ride, or leave my house looking like a bomb went off. Mother’s Day doesn’t change any of that, not yet anyway.
When I think of Mother’s Day, I think, handmade gifts from my school aged kids. More often than not I have been proudly presented with something resembling a paper mache dildo rather than the Tulip it was supposed to be. Come on teacher’s you need to think these projects through or is that you thing my 5 year old should be bringing me phallic shaped Mother’s Day presents?
Please don’t get me wrong. I keep each beautiful creation. In a box labelled – Don’t throw this away, one day they will ask you if you kept it –
Mother’s Day when my kids were under the age of two didn’t really feel like Mother’s Day at all either.
The reality is the kids don’t know what the hell Mother’s Day means at this age. They are prompted to do something cute for you, and they have no idea why. If Dad hasn’t planned breakfast in bed. Forced those adorable toddlers to carry it up to you, the day becomes a bust. Come on Ladies, how many of you have been disappointed in your Baby Daddy when it came to Mother’s Day? I won’t lie, it was a bone of contention in my relationship, especially when my kids were too young to know that it was Friday, let alone Mother’s Day. Step it up Dads it’s one day a year!
It doesn’t get better when the kids turn school-age. This is usually when the kids feel they can do it all on their own. I have enjoyed scrambled eggs with a side of eggshells, on more than one occasion. Coffee with only grounds and the sound of shit hitting the fan when my 5-year-old believed he could use a blender. But this, didn’t take any pressure off me. It didn’t, one time, make me feel calm, or as if I didn’t have to get out of bed and clean the remnants of who-knows-what-the-fuck off the ceiling.
P-the-fuck-S, I put that food in my mouth when they brought it to my bed with a smile on my face, and to this day I am not sure what the hell it was.
Then the Tween years come, and I’m thinking, maybe my family may have their shit together. I’ve done my best to guide them, fail after mother’s day fail. I just want to sleep in ONE morning
I find myself lying in bed hoping they get this one right. They don’t! Instead, my daughter meets me at the side of the bed with a perturbed look on her face. “What’s for Breakfast? Why aren’t you awake yet?”
Oh good, they forgot it’s even Mother’s Day. Perfect!
Mother’s Day doesn’t carry a lot a validity at this point. Kids don’t appreciate their Mom quite yet. Yeah, they love me and say thank you when I give them money, feed them and drive them wherever they need to go. But not the same way you appreciate your Mom after you finally have, a child of your own.
Something happens in the Mom universe at this point. Your Mom finally gets to give you the big-fat-middle-finger. Redemption of the best kind is a Mom finally watching her daughter go through all the things she once did with you. There is no malice in it, just sweet-sweet atonement.
Who hasn’t heard a Mom giggle, when she sees her granddaughter or grandson throw a tantrum? It’s payback time
Young kids rarely appreciate their Mom. Mom’s are just there, in the trenches doing all the dirty work, without any recognition. Children expect their Mom’s to do for them because they always have.
I know, with certainty, that I did not appreciate my Mom. Not the way I did when I had my first child. The moment a Mom becomes a Grandma is the moment her daughter finally sees all she has done for her. She needs her. She can’t live without her. Finally, that daughter understands everything her Mother did for her.
Becoming the real essence of Mother’s Day.
Grandma’s are Moms, but they are Moms that finally receive recognition for all of their hard work. It’s when daughter’s and son’s alike, appreciate everything their Mom’s have done for them. It’s the harsh reality because we are now in it.
Thank goodness for all the Grandma’s out there, teaching, helping and listening to all of us New Moms. Without these ladies, we would be lost. We would have no village. So here is to all the Mom’s, but especially the Grandma’s who have seen and done it all. Finally getting to reap the benefits.